


I Won't Wake Up

by JessabellStories



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Horror, M/M, Psychological Drama, Psychology, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 01:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8349970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessabellStories/pseuds/JessabellStories
Summary: A little short fanfiction with lots of feels! After months of careful contact and planned interactions, Sonic assumes that he has finally earned his long-time rivals affection and respect. However, nothing has really tested this assumption and the blue-speedster is faced with a rather frustrating dilemma. Will his selfishness and ego be his downfall? Or will the exact opposite make things worse?





	1. Relocating?!

I was ever so gently resting my head on his soft muscular shoulder. Heck, I barely put any weight on it because I was worried he might move it. He was sitting ever so sophisticatedly with a book in his lap and beautiful ruby eyes glued to page 34. He had been reading the story for about ten minutes now, without any real intention of speaking to me. However, I was more than used to this. We rarely conversed since he was such a quiet and even shy Mobian. But his presence was enough for me to feel fully satisfied at the moment.

My eyes drifted to my quaint little living room. Nothing too stunning but enough to make me feel comfortable. Finally, my eyes met with a small window to the outside world. The forecasters had said it was cold enough tonight for it to maybe snow. A beautiful night for another beautiful moment with someone I cared very deeply about.

I glanced down at his gloved hands with power rings tightly wrapped around his wrists and dark silky ebony fur going down the rest of his body as he gently pressed his fingertips against the page and turned without making even the smallest of sounds. It made me chuckle inside a little. For such an incredibly powerful and eccentric person, he really did not like disturbing anyone in the area. His silky black fur always put me in some kind of a trance. No matter what the situation, my mind would be at complete ease when in his company.

He had finally become comfortable with my presence after months of slight but careful physical contact. I’m not exactly sure why the urge started even after months of being rivals, but it came on very fast, and I would even say violently. In the beginning, I probably looked like a crazy stalker. Every moment, I would be eyeing him, desiring way more than I could ever hope to be given. Daydreaming of all the wonderful things we could be doing together and sometimes it would come off in my face and confuse Shadow. I took it as slow as I could handle while keeping my sanity intact. Now I could lie my head on his shoulder, and he wouldn’t shake it off. I would certainly call it an accomplishment. However, I had a long way to go. I don’t really know when my infatuation started or even really how, but there was something about him. His gentle and elegant movements were completely under his control, and I couldn’t help but admire. However, the fact that he didn’t really want to get to know me or necessarily love me did kind of bother me. I never got any kind of confession out of him. Even after the multiple times I confessed to him. He did smile, though, and that was something that only I got. A smile and even a chuckle were enough to make me feel like his special one.

Our relationship would be considered very unusual. We’re not really dating and yet we are probably not just friends. We never really had any kind of major conflict that would test our feelings, so it was hard to know if we were even together or just very close companions. Nonetheless, I didn’t really mind it a whole lot. His warmth, scent, and energy were all I really needed, and I could live with the impending feeling of insecurity. Suddenly, his hands pushed together as he closed his book and his beautiful eyes flickered up to meet with mine.

They looked very concerned with his brow fraying down showing his rather serious expression and I carefully placed my hand on his cheek before tilting my head slightly.

 

“Did I disturb you?” I queried softly as not to disturb or hurt his sensitive ears... He always hated loud noises, especially voices.

 

He shook his head slightly as his eyes continued to flicker with sadness.

 

“No... I need to talk to you about something, Sonic.” He replied with his typical unaffected and quiet tone.

 

“Oh really? Well, don’t **I** get special treatment today!” I exclaimed cutely before giving him a little thumbs up and following it with a chuckle.

 

“If you wanted to talk, you could have asked. I didn’t _force_ you to be silent.” He annoyedly countered while rolling his gorgeous crimson irises and folding his arms.

 

“I want you to be comfortable. Sometimes you don’t like to talk. Anyway, whassup? You look **upset**.” I winked at him playfully as I watched his cheeks flush slightly.

 

Shadow may not show intentional emotion, but darn is it cute when his body shows it for me.

 

“I... Well... G.U.N. wants to relocate me to Konfrontere. You know, a few countries up from here. They want me to protect their people in civil disarray right now. They need a professional spy on constant alert who needs very little sleep.” His eyes glimmered with sadness, and he glanced down at his book.

 

It was the first real time I ever saw Shadow rattled by any kind of event. I softly placed my hand on the top of his head and smiled faintly. I tried not to assume anything as he had left for many trips before and he always was a little frustrated when he had to leave even for a short period of time.

 

“Well, that does _certainly_ sound like the perfect job for you. How long will you be there? A month or two?” I asked calmly as I sneakily twirled one of his quills with my ungloved fingers.

 

Thankfully, he was too distracted by the conversation to notice. His lip quivered a little as he seemed to be at a slight loss for words. That’s when I started to get concerned. Shadow would never let himself be emotionally vulnerable unless it was serious. I gulped slightly as I could feel a soft, warm hand touch my own and gently pull down to my side.

 

“Up to three years and if they like me, I might be **permanently** relocated.” He finally admitted as his voice continued with its unaffected tone, but I could tell he was upset by the robust sigh that followed.

 

My heart immediately sank to the bottoms of my feet. I could feel tears forming in my eyes as I tried with all of my might to hold them back. This was certainly not part of the plan... After all this work... All this emotional bonding. Something might actually try to tear us apart for good, and there was no possible way I could move with him because of Eggman’s shenanigans. I would just have to wait until or if he would come back.

 

“Well... **Congratulations**. It sounds like a great opportunity!” I forced a smile as I nodded with triumph.

 

I didn’t want to make this hard for him. I really didn’t. I wanted him to come to a conclusion without me whining or complaining. I was twenty-five, after all. It was time I acted like one.

 

“Sonic... You don’t need to _pretend_ to be happy. I’m no less frustrated than you... I was planning on arguing with them until they agreed to have someone else go.” He tilted his head slightly as his face formed an intentional emotion for the first time probably ever... Empathy.

 

“Aww... Shadz. I appreciate it, but this is your job. It’s **wayyy** more important than me, and I’m okay with it. Sure, I will absolutely miss you but...”

 

My mouth was immediately sealed shut as soft reddish lips pressed against me own. The warmth and comfort made me lose some of my inner strength as my emotions finally started to get the best of me. A few tears trickled down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around his silky back and slowly kissed him back, enjoying every moment, every beautiful moment. We rarely kissed so... This felt incredibly special and Shadow was never the one to instigate the interaction. He gently grabbed one of my warm and bendy ears while gently gliding his finger up its velvety exterior. He moved closer to me until he was pretty much swaddling himself into my lap. He repeatedly pushed his lips against mine over and over again until he finally broke for a breath.

 

“Don’t lie to me, hedgehog. That’s something that **really** annoys me, and you know that. Please don’t act like I don’t care about how you feel. Just because I don’t show emotions in a way that is obvious doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You’re the one who said you loved me, remember? So tell me the truth.” He commanded sternly yet slightly comfortingly as he sweetly brushed the tears from my cheeks before pushing his forehead against mine.

 

This was a Shadow I was not used to in the slightest. He cared... He really cared. I never felt so happy and yet so upset at the same time... I had earned his affection... His heart was finally mine, and yet I might lose it just as quickly... But I knew this move was good for Shadow...  Konfrontere was a country he had always wanted live in. It was much more sophisticated and clean then our little country, and I knew he would certainly find lots to love even possibly another person... Not that I ever wanted to admit it.

 

“Shadow... Of course, I’m sad but. You will have so much opportunity there. You love Konfrontere. I have heard you talk about it before. I’m sure you will be **very** happy there.” I smiled sweetly as I could faintly hear a growl of disappointment.

 

My lips were instantly locked again as his mouth had once again met with mine. He quickly grabbed my head, forcing me to kiss back while pressing harder as his actions started to become more desperate. But now I was starting to get irritated... He wasn’t really listening to me. With every kiss, I grew more upset... Of course, **now** he decided to show affection. When it was already too late. I finally had enough courage to push his body away even though he tried desperately to keep himself in his spot.

 

“Quit it, will ya? I’m trying to talk to you, and you keep _interrupting_ me. Why won’t you just listen to what I have to say?! It is incredibly hard for me to let you go and you're making me feel worse by shoving all this affection at my face all at once. **I’M BEING HONEST**. I’m not lying to make myself look good or to give the most appealing answer. I am saying what I believe is the right thing to do.” I complained irritably as I quickly wiped the spit from the sides of my mouth.

 

His eyes were glittering... Light bouncing off his tear-filled irises. The rest of his face showed no emotion, but I could tell... His eyes never lied.

 

“You **_really_** don’t understand.” He murmured softly as his ears fell flat across his head.

 

“Apparently not. Sorry for raising my voice but... The lovey dovey crap will only make me feel worse right now.” I sighed slightly as my mind couldn’t help but take back those words as soon as they were uttered but it was too late.

 

“Lovey... Dovey... Crap...? What are you talking about?! I’m kissing you because I know it might be one of our last! Not because I want to spite you. **Do you even care**?! Hell. I bet you have plenty of fans to run to and fulfill your romantic and sexual desires but I do not. You're all I have besides Rouge, and I thought I was someone special to you and not just some stupid idiot who fell for your charismatic trap.” I could see his mouth visibly form a scowl as his aggressive tone made me regret my prior statement.

 

I never did well with aggressive people. I was quite a prideful and dominant Mobian. I mean I am the fastest thing alive and one of the most important fighting forces against enemies like Ivo. So, when someone raises their voice, I always yell back louder even if I know they’re right. This always ends up being a recipe for disaster and this situation was no different.

 

“ **Why are you yelling all the sudden**?! I’m trying to do what’s best for you! I’m trying not to be that selfish brat you always wish I wasn’t. You constantly complain about my immaturity, so I am trying to do what I believe is right! Sure. If I had it my way I would  lock you up in my house for the rest of your life and you would stay with me **forever**. However, that is not a mature, ethical or realistic desire. Now is it, mister ultimate lifeform?!” I exclaimed forcefully as I grabbed one of his ears and tugged it to make sure he knew I was serious.

 

“If I hated that side of you, why would I keep dealing with it?! There aren’t parts of you I **hate**. Just some that get slightly _irritating_. A great example would be this aggressive, pushy and competitive persona you're randomly throwing at me.” He yelled back as his eyes flickered up to meet with my own.

 

How dare he yell at me for trying to be an adult? He always complained about my attitude and now he’s telling me that he rather have that Sonic than this. What the hell is he even talking about?

 

“So would you like me to be a selfish little shit?! Cuz I can do that, but I honestly want you to be happy, and I don’t think you will be happy if you stay here.” I grabbed his shoulders violently and shook them slightly.

 

“ **Who said I’m not happy**?!?! I am incredibly happy. More happy than I have ever been.” He admitted while sitting up in my lap and pushing his face closer to mine.

 

Usually, I would absolutely adore being close to Shadow, but now it almost felt like him trying to look bigger than me. I’m better than this... I shouldn’t give into petty competition especially with someone I love, but his attitude was enough to make my emotions spiral out of control.

 

“Showing a little would help. I can’t read your mind, y’know? I just do my absolute best to watch your movements and reactions.” I spat out with spite and sarcasm as if I was almost disgusted with him being this close to me... I wasn’t, but I don’t think that's the message he got.

 

Tears started flooding out my eyes when I saw his own tears fall down his cheeks. I really hurt him this time... I knew I had to be careful with Shadow from the very beginning. He goes from being completely unaffected to heartbroken really quickly and I think I might have just pushed the boundary.

 

“Please... Just, **stop** yelling. I’m sorry that I don’t just give into my emotions easily but yelling at me isn’t going to help.” His shaky voice trailed off as he rested his face onto my peach chest fur, rubbing his tears gently into it as sniffles from both of us started invading the room.

 

“ **Shadow**...” I couldn’t help but file my fingers through his quills and softly peck the top of his head.

 

I love him... I have to love him. How could I not love him? Sure, there are parts of him that annoy me... There are times where I just want him to admit his feelings and let me comfort his heart. But, it's nice to know that we feel the same. There aren’t parts I hate just parts that make things more complicated. If everything were perfect and wonderful all the time, we wouldn’t appreciate those moments when things did work. A little arguing isn’t bad... It’s just a sign that we're comfortable with testing our feelings.

Nonetheless, you aren’t a toy, Shadow... More like a beautiful porcelain doll that I want to protect and worship. A furry ebony princess I can swaddle and hold for all of eternity. However, throughout our wonderful time together, you have taught me the value of making the right decision, even if it destroys my own heart. That is something that I will never forget.

 

“If you’re willing just to give me up because it’s “ _the right thing to do”_ , then obviously I fell in love with the wrong man.” He tilted his head up to meet his own eyes with mine before giving me a slight but gentle kiss on the cheek.

 

It felt... Different and not in a good way. It almost felt like a goodbye kiss like the kind you would give to someone on your last date before you broke up with them. I didn’t like it in the slightest but... I decided not to fight him. Shadow needed to make his own decisions. And I regretted that decision immediately as he quickly hopped off my lap and started taking staggered steps towards the front door. I could see his beautiful face turn slightly as my mind went completely blank. I couldn’t believe what I had just done...

 

“And Sonic.” He clenched his fists as he tiringly shuffled his feet into his specially made rocket shoes.

 

“What?” My voice could barely come out with any sound as I reached out to him with my arm.

 

“That was my confession. Have a good rest of your night.” He quickly turned towards the door and forced it open quickly before walking through.

 

The door was slammed shut as my breath started to escalate and my heart shatter. I had lost him... That was it. He probably wouldn’t even tell me when he would leave. I might not ever see him again.

 I curled up into a tiny little ball as I saw snowflakes start to fall onto my porch. The window grew slightly foggy as my eyes started to close. Hopefully, if I fall asleep...

 

# I won’t wake up. 


	2. Is This Reality?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world chooses the hero, not the hero chooses the world. He who is strong enough... Powerful enough to destroy those who are evil... Is the one that gets chosen. You don’t just decide to be a hero... Not that you would want to really be one if you could. Trust me, it is **not** worth it in the slightest. If you die, the entire world collapses with you and you live with that mind-destroying fact for the rest of your life. 
> 
> #### If the pressure doesn't eat you alive then surely your own ego will.

It was cold... **So** cold. It felt as if my entire body was throbbing with the inconceivable need for warmth. Any kind of warmth. I didn’t really care if I need to set my fur on fire... Just, please dear chaos...

** MAKE IT STOP.  **

Finally, after a few lengthy minutes of internally screaming in pain and rage, I had found the courage and energy to open my eyes. A vast slew of iridescent white powder covered any and all formations, including myself. Rocks, trees, and even animals were stationary in space and time as if the entire planet had spontaneously frozen. The cold glacial air was rushing at what felt like hundreds of miles per hour right over my lying frigid-cold body. Amongst the whispering wind, that I swear was telling me to just go back to sleep, was a _voice_. It was sweet... Beckoning me to follow it. I don’t really know how I got the idea but... The voice felt _warm_. As if the sound of its loving and calming words somehow emitted heat. This being said, logic was not in my brain at the moment, and I slowly tried to stand from my lying position. Unfortunately, my legs were completely numb, making it nearly impossible to stand without wincing in sheer agony and collapsing to my knees. Frozen icy drops of water started falling from my eyes as I had come to a very stunning and real conclusion.  I was going to die... There was absolutely **no** doubt about it.

 

Just as the wind calmed a little, it suddenly kicked up again with more ferocity than ever before and once more it sounded like it was trying to lull me back to sleep. I wanted nothing more than to obey its wispy command as I contemplated lying back down in the snow again. If I was going to die... I might as well die in peace and end this horrible torture. However, that passionate voice picked up again... Somehow convincing me that it wasn’t my time even though I really couldn’t hear a word it was saying. I gained my courage once again and tried to stand up more... The electric shocks of my tired and frozen muscles waking my foggy mind almost instantly. It was then that I realized that I was nowhere near my house. Heck, I wasn’t even sure if I was in the same country or continent. It never got this cold where I lived. Even when it snowed, it was usually icier and would melt almost instantly. So where in the world was I?

 

I took a long and profound breath, the freezing-cold-dry air making my lungs burn and sting with unbelievable discomfort. Wherever I was, I needed to find civilization and **fast**.

 

“Sonic... I **know** you can do it. Do not give up. Do not let  anyone tell you otherwise.” The voice continued to beckon sweetly, giving me a slight sense of comfort.

 

I took a single step, my soaked red and white sneakers slipping about five inches below the surface of the snow. I definitely couldn't run now, especially in my current state and unfortunately, I could tell by my inconsistent heartbeat and rather concerning chest pain, that my chaos energy was running very low and having trouble keeping my heart beating. So, I decided to bite down on my lip and bear the pain. All be it until I could find someplace to warm up. 

The voice kept calling as I moved forward, not certain which direction I was going but not really caring, to begin with. Its words kept getting louder and clearer as I started to get exhausted from the shocks of sheer agony running up my spine. I never thought I would ever reach this point in my life, where I wanted **nothing** more than to die and even desiring to lie in the snow and wait for the sweet embrace of death. But the voice continued to persuade me otherwise. And before I knew it, after taking a few more steps while I dragged my rather useless body across the empty wasteland, I could see a figure. It was barely visible with my foggy vision, but It was definitely another Mobian and my mind finally started to think positively again. I began sprinting towards it, ignoring the pain and limited chaos energy in my body before finally meeting with my possible savior. It was Shadow... It **had ** to be Shadow. Although, his face was warped in a very odd manner and hidden by the flurry of snow rushing past my eyes. I just assumed it was my blurry vision playing tricks on me, but he kind of looked unsettling.

 

“Why, hello there, _Sonic the Hedgehog_.” My ebony lover stated unaffectedly as he slowly crossed his arms over his body as if he was lecturing me.

 

“Shadow... Please, help me get out of here! I think I’m close to passing out.” I quickly wrapped my arms around his slim waist, expecting his body heat to instantly warm me up but surprisingly got little to no comfort.

 

He was just as cold as me... If not colder. How was that possible?

 

“Why would I help such a shitty boyfriend like you? You think I’ll just forgive you after what you said to me? You make me laugh.” He continued mocking as his unemotional body language really bewildered me, making me realize he didn’t understand how dangerous this situation was.

 

“Shadow, this is serious! Do you _really_ want me to die? I’m so freaking cold, please help me. I will do **anything**!” I cried out violently before grabbing his shoulders and attempting to stare into his beautiful ruby eyes... However, I couldn’t seem to locate them on his face as the blizzard continued to blind me.

 

“Quit complaining. You know I **hate** that about you. As well as your snappy attitude. Be more respectful to your elders.” He scolded sternly while calmly removing my hands from his shoulders and sighing as if I was overreacting.

 

“Shadow... I’m sorry for everything I have done, but this is downright evil. Please take me to somewhere with warmth!” I begged desperately before falling to my knees and erupting in tears and pleas.

 

Every drop of snow onto my body would send a shock of pain through my limbs. I never felt so desperate... So helpless... So scared in my entire life.

 

“I have better things to do than worry about your problems. I have much more important manners to attend to.” Shadow countered as he replied with his traditional _hmph_ and sassy roll of the eyes.

 

“Shadow, please... I don’t want to die. Didn’t you say that you wanted to keep me alive as long as possible since you practically live forever? Please, for all that is beautiful in this world, come to your senses.” I could barely muster any more words to come out of my mouth as I could feel my heart start to slow and breathing start to become completely unpredictable.

For a second, I felt strangely mellow. The world became distorted and almost alien-like. I was going to freeze right in front of my love, wasn't I? How strangely poetic except for the fact that Shadow had completely lost his mind.

Suddenly, almost as quickly as the freezing cold came, it ended. The warmth returning back to my starving flesh. The snow receded quickly as if winter was placed on super fast-forward and the ground and trees were fully visible within a minute or two. My eyes widened as I looked up at the charcoal hedgehog with a combination of shock and relief clearly evident in my lavish emerald eyes.

 

“Shadow, how did you?” I quickly came to my feet and immediately smothered the other hedgehog as tightly as I could, not noticing that I was digging my hand into his quills with practically no sense of pain.

 

I could wait to vent on how unbelievably inconsiderate and stupid Shadow was for not realizing that I was dying and practically begging for help for another time. For now, I was just so thankful. My body felt warm and vibrant, and my heart was finally returning to a normal pace.

 

“I saved you. Be thankful.” Shadow replied plainly as he gently pat my shoulder and pushed me away from his body as if he was irritated with my _overreaction_.

 

“That doesn’t answer my question. How did you just **end** winter like that?!” I exclaimed loudly as I suddenly became agitated with the inconceivable knowledge that he still didn’t understand how tremendously scared I was back there.

 

“I can do many things. I am the ultimate life form, after all.” Was his simple answer as my body started to become slightly weak and vulnerable again but this time in an oddly comforting way.

 

Abruptly, the entire area blurred and we were teleported to a new location. The smell went from pine trees and soil to the intense scent of cleaning products and plastic. It didn’t really fit the environment completely as the pain I felt a few minutes ago vanished like the icy tundra. I could hear quick, violent footsteps as many Mobians and even a few humans were visibly seen rushing to wherever they needed to go, and the intense whoosh of air from outside the window in front of me caught my attention. I noticed that Shadow was still staring at me with his traditional unconvinced scoff.

 

“Well? You going to say anything?” He asked plainly as objects became more readily visible and the atmosphere a lot more emotionally saddening.

 

“Um. Thank you for saving me, Shadow. I **certainly** owe you my life.” My gloved hand quickly met with my chin as my words and actions were filled with confusion and skepticism.

 

Where in the world could I have gone too, now? Did I use Chaos Control without knowing? Did I suddenly lose some of my memory?

 

“Saving you from _what_?  Boredom? Don’t get all sassy with me. All I did was ask you to see me off.” His head tilted slightly as I was more than happy to see his beautiful crimson eyes again.

 

A large commercial plane started wheeling towards the clean and completely see-through large window, gracefully parking itself as close as possible to the exterior walls of the seemingly never-ending room without fail. I tilted my head back to Shadow as I noticed that he was no longer standing but sitting in a slightly dull black chair with his legs crossed and arms gently resting on the armrests. His little suitcase was placed right next to him as the air got violently caught in my lungs. I knew exactly where I was... 

#####  But why?

 

“Geez. Don’t die on me. I don’t want to get a call from Rouge that you went into cardiac arrest while I was on my mission.” Shadow teased slightly as his tone seemed to remind me of how we used to be... His voice echoing with the undeniable truth that even the thought of talking to me was making him irritated.

 

“So you decided you were going to go then? When do you leave?” I replied coldly, not really feeling like I needed to ask him about what the hell was wrong with him and instead get the information I so desperately needed.

 

“I have to. It’s my job, and unfortunately, I can’t bypass this opportunity just because I have a life here. Things change... And I change, for that matter. I have to be there for the people who need my incredible powers and strength. Plus, we discussed this weeks ago. Granted, I really didn’t want to talk to you until now, but we still had a lengthy conversation. Also, the plane leaves at eleven twenty so you better hurry this up.” He answered matter-of-factly while calmly resting the back of his hand against his cheek as if this was not affecting him in the slightest.

 

It was certainly bothering me, though... My inner conscience kept screaming at me to tell him how much I loved him and that he shouldn’t go, but I made the decision to stick with his choices. He could have been **a lot** more sensitive about it, though. 

I could feel my chest burn slightly as I almost felt embarrassed... That simple sentence was enough for me to practically lose my sense of self-worth. Why try when all the hard work I went into gaining Shadow’s trust meant nothing to him anymore?

 

“I see...” Was all I could really respond with, my heart and soul wishing nothing more than to go back to the snowy wasteland of death.

 

“You look upset. Quit acting so weak. It’s **too** late now so put on that poker face you are so well known for and pretend to be happy, alright? Your sadness is making this harder for me.” He sighed softly as he shook his head in disappointment.

 

### Pretend... That awful... Hideous... Tortuous word.

That’s all I really know how to do anymore, isn't it? Pretend I’m not in pain. Pretend I’m not terrified. Pretend I’m not unhappy. I have to for the sake of the team. If I am invincible and strong minded, then my friends will think they are too. In other words, I have no choice. I never have had a choice. My life has been controlled by the outside world my entire life or at least for as long as I can remember. The world chooses the hero, not the hero chooses the world. He who is strong enough... Powerful enough to destroy those who are evil... Is the one that gets chosen. You don’t just decide to be a hero... Not that you would want to really be one if you could. Trust me, it is **not** worth it in the slightest. If you die, the entire world collapses with you and you live with that mind-destroying fact for the rest of your life. 

#### If the pressure doesn't eat you alive then surely your own ego will.

More disheartening than that was Shadow’s words and more so the way he said them... They hurt more than almost freezing to death in an abandoned glacial tundra and before I knew it, I was on my knees, sobbing to no end once again. Not really caring if the paparazzi were on my tail. Let them get a good look at who I actually am. Pitiful, right? Who really cares anymore, anyway? 

####  **Why should I try**?

I know Ivo... Better than probably anyone. He wouldn’t completely destroy this country and run it into the ground, would he? I could just leave and never come back and let him finally win. Why do I keep torturing myself?! Why the hell do I keep fighting?!?

#### Why... Dear Chaos, why.

Shadow’s face changed instantly concerned as my sobs were different than any I can ever remember. It sounded like pure, unfiltered desperation... And I just wanted the pain to end. Mentally... After all these years of hiding my inner demons, I had finally cracked.

Abruptly, the ebony gently got to his knees and wrapped me into the tightest hug I have ever been given and this time, I could feel his warmth... I could smell his wonderful scent and sense his powerful chaos energy. However, my body had become strangely frozen as I desperately wanted to just pin him to the ground and give him some real good tough love for being such an ass to me. However, I couldn’t do anything at the moment, and when he finally released me from his grasps, he went back to sitting.

 

“I am here for you... **Don’t be afraid**. Don’t let  anyone tell you otherwise. Not the media... Not your friends. Not even your own heart. I am here for you.” He mumbled sweetly as his words came off muffled and not really attached to the ebony hedgehog speaking them, who seemed to have his usual unemotional face on.

 

However, I knew it was Shadow. It had to be Shadow... I wouldn’t mistake his voice for anyone but as soon as those words were uttered my love completely vanished. Practically disappearing from the scene entirely as my eyes glanced at the clock... Eleven thirty. He had already left, somehow. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I wanted to at least give him my email or something. He said he would be here for me, and then he just leaves without telling me?! How the hell did I just space out like that, anyway?! None of this makes any sense!! I hate this! I hate every second of this stupid, pitiful existence. Just end it! END IT RIGHT NOW.

 

#  Silence and darkness... Without a doubt, the two most beautiful things on this planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys a tad confused? Well, this part is titled Is This Reality for a reason. Comment below what you believe is reality and what isn't! I can fully assure you that this sequence is not completely fake and not completely real. This is based off of tons of psychological research on dreams and hallucinations. I am a person who suffers from chronic night frights where I see things in my room that seem like they are there but disappear in a span of a few seconds. This was obviously inspired by that and I hope you guys enjoyed the suspense and fear throughout the entire chapter! Certainly one of my best and most interesting pieces of literature i have ever written.


	3. Are You Saying That He Tried To...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Listen up you two assholes. Don’t you dare laugh or hell don’t even make a sound! I WAS NOT finished talking yet.” Once again, Shadow’s loud booming voice echoed through the room in the most powerful way imaginable.
> 
> “Sonic and I have become very close the past few months. When I told him I was moving to Konfrontere, I was expecting him to fight back and be upset. However, he responded completely differently than I had expected and was being all mature and shit and it through me off, so we had an argument. When I left... I felt like I had to give him some time to really think things through but about an hour later I sensed that his chaos energy had diminished a huge amount...” He continued emotionally, his voice desperately trying to hide his frustration and sadness by remaining loud and forceful.
> 
> “WAIT! Are you saying that he tried to...”

A low hum of what sounded like some kind of machine slightly startled me as the dark emptiness that had consumed me was starting to brighten. Every minute or so a slight but sharp beep would erupt from the silence and snap me to attention. Following it, a rather tight squeeze on my left arm that left some level of discomfort but nothing compared to the trauma I had just experienced. I was lying in complete blackness, rather relieved that my spontaneous mental breakdown had calmed a little. After being in this area for what seemed like hours, I had come to the understanding that I was having some kind of atrocious nightmare. How I didn’t notice this sooner was beyond me. It just felt **so** real... The cold could not have been entirely my imagination, _right_?

 

As I continued to stare, or at least I think I was, at the dark void before me, my sensitive ears started to register talking... There were a few voices. One was high pitched and rather annoying that sounded as if it was sobbing. One was moderately pitched and slightly soothing to the ears that I think was trying to calm the other and then one... One was low... Low and comforting.

My heart started to race again, and I could even hear the machine’s erratic beeps, signaling to the others that my heart was going faster. I wasn’t in pain... Or scared. I was just so happy. Reality was just around the corner, and all I had to do was wait. Wait until I had enough energy and strength to wake up. However, the three voices started talking sporadically as if they were trying to decide what to do, if anything. The high-pitched voice started crying even louder with her voice barely understandable. However, it sounded something like...

 

“Oh, my chaos?! Is he dying?! **Is my Sonic dying**?!!!” Shrill feminine screams filled the room for a minute before being silenced by a hush.

 

It sounded like... AMY. So wherever I am, my friends must have come to visit me, and by the ungodly stench of cleaning products and the annoying beeping noises, I have come to the conclusion that I must be in a hospital. What in the world happened to me?

 

“Rose... I can _assure_ you that he is alright. As a matter of fact, his heart beating faster means he is either healing or hearing us talk and reacting to our voices.” The lower voice replied irritably, his heavy boots clopping against the most likely tile floor as he released a very long and robust groan.

 

“Shadow is right, Amy... I’m sure Sonic is fine. His vitals look a lot better than yesterday, and he should be waking up soon. Why don’t you go and make yourself useful and let the nurses know that he is showing signs of consciousness.” A soft, mellow voice that was quite relaxing to hear responded clearly as my mind quickly realized it was Tails.

 

I could hear the sounds of quick footsteps frantically scampering out of my room. A gentle sigh was released from one of the two remaining voices, quickly being followed by the sound of someone being pat.

 

“Shadow... Do you need some time? If he is awake, I’m sure he wants to hear your voice loud and clear after all you have explained to me.” Tails continued as he most likely took his leave by the sound of his little sneaker boots slowly fading from my extremely sensitive ears.

 

**All Shadow explained to him**?! Did Shadow tell him about us! Why would he do such a thing?! Why would he tell Tails of all people?

 

“Not necessary, although appreciated, Miles!” The low base exclaimed, trying to carry his voice to the Fox that was already out of the room.

 

I could feel the soft tingle of my probably bright red cheeks starting to wake me to my senses. If Tails somehow found out… Or worse was told by the only person I never thought would spill any kind of secretive information like that, I would just die of shame. I hadn’t admitted to anyone at this point that I liked men… At least not to my knowledge.

 

Low, hollow footsteps echoed. Each one getting close and closer to me, once again raising my heart a little in slight surprise.

 

“Shhhh... It’s okay. It’s just me.” I could feel a warm, soft ungloved hand touch my cheek as its rhythmic petting motion through me into a beautiful trance.

 

His voice... He sounded exhausted and not just that but sick. The once dense, soothing voice that I would often describe as operatic was now scratchy and cracked, almost as if... **He had been crying**. But Shadow crying... What could have I possibly done to cause him such sorrow?

 

 “You really scared me, you know? No, scared isn’t even close to the right word. More like absolutely mortified. I found you deep in the snow in the middle of nowhere. I’m **so** relieved I can read your chaos energy so well or else you would have probably  died.” His words were obscenely shaky while his tender petting became almost frantic as if he was trying desperately cling onto any self-control he had left in him.

 

“What the hell were you doing out there all by yourself, faker? Did I _really_ drive you to suicide like that? I didn’t mean to… You know that I care about you immensely… I thought I made that profoundly clear. And now... I have to try and act like nothing happened between us... when I’m struggling to find the strength... to not just give up and let my emotions **explode**...” His words slowly drifted off as his sentences started to lack his traditional rhythmic and uninfected flow and instead be replaced with wobbly, fearful sentence fragments.

 

My heart... Physically, it felt fine but _emotionally_... I had caused my love so much grief and drove him to near insanity. And yet... Something about this made me feel exceptionally relieved. I’m not the only one who feels it... We both feel we have to act strong and smile for the camera. I always knew Shadow was tough as nails but seeing him vulnerable like this made him seem **even** stronger and without a doubt, more appealing. And as that beautiful voice did to me in the nightmare prior... His words,  alone, were enough to make me want to just give everything up or keep trucking along at full throttle. It was an incredible feeling... Shadow cared just as much as I did.

It made me chuckle a little, and I could clearly hear the shocked thud of my ebony lover partially falling out of his... _Chair?_ Whatever he was sitting in as he realized that I had just laughed.

 

“You **are** awake! Oh god, and I made myself look like such an emotional train wreck.” His voice became slightly offended as I could hear some kind of wiping noise followed by a sniffle.

 

“You better not be laughing at my behavior! You scared me nearly to death. You are always so damn irresponsible and careless. The doctors said if you were out there for no more than ten more minutes your heart would have shut down. I... I can’t believe you right now!!! Why do you test me like this you... Stupid egotistical little shit!” Sweet words soon turned sour as I could tell his attempt at this offended tone was just because of his embarrassment.

 

I chuckled again, his harsh words masked by the sound of spontaneous choking as I assumed I made him cry again... I should probably stop laughing but... It was just **so** cute. I could just imagine his red noise and crimson eyes beaming as bright as the setting sun while beautiful glistening tears streamed from his irises and down his cheeks. It’s probably not wise for one to think that their loved one crying is attractive but with Shadow, I just couldn’t help it... This was more than rare... This was something **unthinkable** no more than a couple months ago. My ebony beauty showing emotion is one thing but crying... That’s a completely different story. Crying is like admitting that you have the capability of showing weakness, at least from Shadow’s perspective. So, showing me that he can be vulnerable made me undoubtedly love him more than I **ever** have... Making me finally realize that if I didn’t stay with my ebony love the rest of my life, I might as well just give up on love entirely because I will never find anyone quite like him.

His cries started to die a little as I could feel something soft and warm gently rub my smooth velvety ear, somehow giving me the ability to flicker it a little, making Shadow instantly hum with contentment.

 

“You better fully wake soon, you little shit. Everyone is waiting for you. All your friends have a little party planned for you, although knowing them it probably won’t be so little. I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire town makes the trip to wish you well. You are the great Sonic the Hedgehog, after all.” Shadow muttered softly into my ear, his words sounding slightly saddened as if he really didn’t like the thought of me being smothered by a bunch of other people.

 

Man, I wish I could talk... In my brain, I was responding with fully structured sentences, but my mouth just wouldn’t move. It was downright maddening. I was always used to running my lips just as fast, if not faster, than my legs.

 And it was at this time that I started becoming obscenely concerned at the fact that I could not feel **any** of my limbs or really any body part. If I somehow became paralyzed.... I have no idea how I would be able to live with myself.

 

More disheartening then that was Shadow’s energy slowly be pulled away from me. His obvious movement not satisfying in the slightest. I just wanted him near... He gave me warmth, hope and above all **power**. The power to be me and not be afraid of what others think. With him gone... I don’t know how I would find myself.

Gentle clopping footsteps entered the room followed by two others as my ears started rapidly flickering to completely register them.

 

“Wow... I am **amazed** at his progress. He seems to be recovering very well. We have him on special anesthetic so it will be very difficult for him to wake up fully unless we take him off.” An older female voice entered the environment, making me have to work harder to understand each of the four voices entirely.

 

“Will everything work as it has or will there be remaining damage?” Shadow calmly queried, his voice returning back to its unemotional and rhythmic tone.

 

It’s amazing how quickly he can just turn his emotions off. I guess when you have trained your entire life to keep them contained you naturally know how to keep them internalized.

 

“I assume he will make a full recovery, at least physically. He might suffer some symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, however. This **was** a very traumatic event. He is going to have to be watched very carefully for the next few weeks.” The older voice replied clearly as I could hear a strange clicking noise right next to my left ear as if she was pressing some button.

 

“That’s fine! I always love helping my best bud out.” Tails exclaimed happily, his warm voice instantly reminding me how much I loved my little sidekick, platonically speaking.

 

“Unfortunately, it needs to be an adult... So that means both you and Miss Rose don’t really qualify.” The older lady, who I had come to assume was the nurse, replied dejectedly.

 

“Oh no.... I have no idea where else to go then. I don’t know who-“ My little kitsune sidekick was cut off by Shadow’s low booming voice.

 

“ **I’ll do it**.” He interrupted simply and sternly, his voice sounding more official than usual.

 

“Shadow?! But you **hate** Sonic and aren’t you traveling to another country for a few years? You better not want to take him with you. I definitely  won’t allow it!!!” Amy bellowed forcefully as her footsteps quickly echoed towards where I assumed Shadow was standing.

 

“I am staying. You think I would just desert him like this? It’s fine. I will take him in and make sure he gets quality care.” My ebony lover muttered sternly, followed by a rather loud pushing noise and a soft and girly squeal of annoyance.

 

Don’t push her too hard, Shadz. Her hammer isn’t just part of her appearance.

 

“ **WOW**! I have never seen you so willing to protect Sonic. Did something happen?  OH, MY CHAOS. Don’t tell me _you’re_ the one who put him in the snow?!” She belted violently with her voice carrying so far into my ears that I wanted nothing more than to cover them with my hands.

 

“Rose... That is impossible. I was long gone by the time they estimated he was placed there. How is it this hard to comprehend me wanting to protect him? I was the one who saw him in the snow... Just minutes away from freezing to death. I was the one who tried picking up his limp practically lifeless body as cold as the snow he was placed in, and you know what happened?” Shadow’s usual strict tone was slowly being devoured by that inconsistent, emotional whimper he had put on while we were alone.

 

“ _I couldn’t pick him up_. Every time I would try to move his limbs he would scream in agony, so I called for help, and finally, after a few minutes of horrible anticipation, the army came and took him to the hospital. You have no idea the hell I went through... You have no idea how emotionally traumatizing every single second of that was. I even tried to hold and warm him up, but he would continue screaming as if my heat was making things worse. So, don’t you **dare** say that I hate him. Eliminate that from your brain space immediately because I feel the exact opposite... I...” His shaky voice started to trail off until the only noise was the sound of my heart monitor beeping.

 

He went through all of that... _For me_. He did all of that **FOR** me. Sonic the Hedgehog, his arch rival and most hated adversary. I could feel an extreme sense of pride burning in my stomach as I tried desperately to reach out to him but was almost certain my limbs wouldn’t move until...

 

“Oh my gosh! Look! Sonic moved his arm! He’s getting better!” Amy exclaimed happily as I could hear a constant loud thumping noise which I assumed was her jumping in that silly girly manner she always does.

 

“That’s our Sonic for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if his actual last name is _WounteGivuppe_.” Tails replied matter-of-factly as I could hear the robust sigh of a certain frustrated ebony hedgehog.

 

The two conversing Mobians chuckled a little while my mind started wondering a little further. Was Shadow about to admit something? Did I stop him? It would probably be for the better... I know he would regret it in the end. But somehow, I was alright with telling Tails everything now, if Shadow didn’t already spill. It would just make things easier for both him and Amy... She wouldn’t grope me as much. However, I want to hear my ebony beauty admit his feelings first. Then I know that I am making the right decision. Suddenly, I could hear quick rather violent footsteps that continued getting quieter and quieter until they suddenly disappeared.

 

“Hay, Shadow! What’s wrong? Did we make you mad?” Tails cried out to the ebony who only response was a loud and frustrated _hmph_.

 

“Let him be.... He’s always a grump, anyway. It was kind of odd seeing him all sappy a minute ago. Maybe he’s embarrassed? Not that it really matters.” Amy replied mockingly.

 

“Don’t be so judgmental. He might just be upset because of all he went through to get Sonic here.” The kitsune countered, obviously trying to defend Shadow which was already a little odd.

 

“Him being worried? Geez. That never happens, let’s be honest here.” She responded sarcastically, her voice being cut off by loud stomping noises almost as soon as ‘here’ was muttered.

 

“Okay! Listen up you two assholes. Don’t you **dare** laugh or hell don’t even make a sound!  **I WAS NOT** finished talking yet.” Once again, Shadow’s loud booming voice echoed through the room in the most powerful way imaginable.

 

“Sonic and I have become very close the past few months. When I told him I was moving to Konfrontere, I was expecting him to fight back and be upset. However, he responded completely differently than I had expected and was being all mature and shit and it through me off, so we had an argument. When I left... I felt like I had to give him some time to really think things through but about an hour later I sensed that his chaos energy had diminished a huge amount...” He continued emotionally, his voice desperately trying to hide his frustration and sadness by remaining loud and forceful.

#   “WAIT! Are you saying that he tried to...”


	4. Confession

“I don’t know, okay?! But, I need to say something just in case he did. I have this strange feeling in my gut that he thought everything was over; that our close bond had crumbled just because of one fight. Well, it didn’t. I feel for him in exactly the same way I did a couple of weeks ago. I’m not mad at him, and I’m **definitely** not just going to take off because he made things difficult. That just isn’t the way I handle conflict. It is going to take a giant catastrophe to end what he has worked so hard to earn. I appreciate all he has done for me, and I feel I have to do the same.”  Low bellowing breaths were heard as soon as he finished his speech and I could tell he was possibly on the brink of tears again.

 

The pounding footsteps of Shadow’s hover boots could be heard walking straight towards me and before I knew it a tight and sweaty hand was wrapped around my own. I could hear more shuffling as an annoyed grunt was released from my lover’s lips. I repeated that beautiful sentence in my head over and over again... What exactly was he going to say?

 

“Do you want me to say it in front of them, Sonic? Flicker your ear once if you do.” He whispered gently as his loving voice practically melted every part of my body.

 

I quickly flickered my left ear, and I swear I could somehow hear the rushing roar of blood to Shadow’s face making his cheeks, what I assumed, completely red. His hand became slightly shaky, and I could very easily hear his heart rate kick up by twenty beats almost instantaneously.

 

“For you, I’ll do it, but promise me you will never do this to me again. Be safe. My heart won’t be able to take it after this.” I could feel him awkwardly twist my ear as if he was trying to use it as some kind of stress ball before releasing a rather shakey sigh.

 

Who knew Shadow was so scared of public speaking? Especially since he works for G.U.N and must have to do presentations all the time. I guess this is a little different but still.

 

“Hay! Don’t you dare move! I have an announcement to make. And you better tell everyone in the world because I am only saying it once.” He yelled violently as I assumed the others were already half way out the door.

 

“I... I... _Oh, god_. How the hell am I going to do this?” Shadow mumbled slightly as I could hear his breath hitch a little in fear.

 

 He took a very long and robust sigh as it felt as if he was trying to squeeze my hand until the darn thing went numb.  

“ **Sonic’s real first name is Ogilvie Maurice**!” He exclaimed loudly as I could hear a very solid gasp from the other two Mobians in the room.

 

“WHAT?! SONIC, IS THAT TRUE?” A high-pitched feminine voice queered as my brain was trying to register what the hell just happened.

 

“Amy... _Of course_ , Ivo didn’t name him Sonic. That’s not traditional enough. Makes complete sense to me but what doesn’t is the fact that me, Sonic’s best friend, didn’t know this and his rival did.” Tails voice replied irritably.

 

“I can see why he doesn’t like it. Sounds like an old person’s name. And ya Shadow! How did you know that?!” Amy confronted, and I could hear her quick and rapid feet make its way over to my ears.

 

I, undoubtedly, was just high enough off the medication not really to care about how unbelievably furious I was. Where the hell did he get that information from?! I never told anyone my real name... The only person who knows is Ivo... Oh. I’m sure that’s where he got that very touchy knowledge. Now Tails and everyone will start calling me Ogi like Eggie used to... Chaos, I hate my life right now. Not only did he admit something that I didn't want ANYONE to know but I got denied my chance to hear Shadow proclaim his love.

I could faintly hear a low grumble that almost came off as a chuckle as my soft ears were immediately smothered by a certain lover’s mouth.

 

“Don’t worry. I pretty much shoved them out of the room for now. Don’t be too mad at me. I had to say something convincing... I just couldn't get myself to say it in front of your companions. **Forgive me**. Now, without further ado. I shall finally get on with my confession.” He sounded a lot more relaxed with just a hint of pride as he was certain that he had said something that really irritated me.

 

“I know it kind of looks like I’m a cold, heartless guy. However, I think we both know that's just a cover-up, at least to some degree. In reality, I’m just as scared as anyone, if not more. Scared of getting attached to someone and being disappointed or deserted. It takes a lot more inner strength to love and depend on someone with the knowledge that they could leave you forever then it is just to be completely alone.” He admitted faintly as his passive voice almost caught me off guard.

 

I knew from my previous conversations with Rouge that he is actually a very submissive guy at heart. She had told me stories of the many times he would come home only to break down crying from the stressful day he had to endure. To be honest, he probably just wants peace and quiet. To sit, read books and occasionally have a conversation but prefer to have nothing very exciting or frightening in his life. However, this is just the conclusion I came to so having it admitted by Shadow is really relieving.

 

“I fully admit to letting this control my actions and maybe even my life. I always try to push others away. Not to mention that I hate giving others the opportunity to hurt me. I know it must have been so challenging to get me to open up like I have but I **honestly** have not been more content. However, please... Don’t try to be anyone but yourself. I know this all sounds very cliché, but you don’t have to try so hard. I’m not going to randomly get up and leave. I’m _much_ too mature to do that.” A slight chuckle followed his prideful statement as I could feel the gentle tingle of Shadow’s chaos energy shoot through my body in the most wonderful way as his hand started gently stroking mine.

 

“You better not have fallen asleep on me... Your heart rate dropped a little. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that. I don’t want to leave. For many reasons, of course, but the biggest being **you**. I have already spoken to G.U.N., and they have sent a letter of denial to the G.U.N Federation in  Konfrontere. So, now that everything has been resolved. What do you say...? Do you want to _try_ to be more than what we are already?” He finished his monolog and poked my hand playfully to make sure that I had in fact not fallen asleep.

 

My heart instantly kicked up as I could feel my face starting to burn with excitement. I couldn’t tell you how badly I wanted to say yes... I needed to say yes. Shadow meant so much to me, after all, and not replying with an answer because I couldn’t speak was completely out of the question. Finally, after a minute or two of trying to move everything on my body I could, I sensed my brain clearing.

 

“Come on now... I know you can do it. You’re a big strong hedgehog, right? Or am I going to be dating a _wimp_?” His words might not have angered me, but the following chuckle most certainly did.

 

This making my face burned even brighter, however certainly not in the same way. How dare he taunt me! I’m no wimp! I’ll show him!!!

 

Finally... My azure blue eyelids started to slide up, revealing two bright emerald gems that I presumed glistened against the light of the little hospital room. My vision was obscenely blurry but, then again, there was only one thing I could really see. Gorgeous shining ruby irises stared at me in the most sensual and loving manner ever known to man. His beautiful ebony face content and calm with lips pursed into a very slight but genuine smile. He was no more than three inches from my face, and there wasn’t a better sight to wake up to on the face of Mobius. My anger was instantly dimmed as I pushed my head up a little to gently kiss his forehead.

 

“Took ya long enough hedgehog and be careful... You might hurt yourself.” Shadow mumbled slightly as a quite content growl followed his statement.

 

“Mmm. I don’t think there's _anything_ to worry about, kitten. I feel great right now. Your Chaos Energy has filled me right up, and I want nothing more than to go running out into the wild.” I exclaimed happily before stretching my body out a little to get out of my rather uncomfortable position.

 

“I have been used... How rude. You really are a piece of work you know. So do you have an answer?” He replied rather shyly as he traced the outline of the sheets with his finger in embarrassment.

 

Damn, if Shadow wasn’t already the cutest thing ever. I think he just topped it.

 

“What do **_you_** think...?” I replied teasingly as his eyes instantly flickered up to meet with mine with his typical sassiness.

 

“I’m thinking you might want to wait a couple months. But then again I’m **really** bad at reading people.” He turned his head away from me before releasing an angsty hmph causing me to laugh instantly.

 

“Heh... You're funny.” I giggled slightly as my hand was stubbornly pushed under his chin.

 

I started pulling him in gently before placing a soft peck on his soft tender lips. I could tell by his stiff reaction that he had forgotten how good it feels. However, as soon as I made it clear that I wasn’t moving anytime soon, his muscles relaxed, allowing me to throw my arms around his little waist and deepen the kiss. As I continued gently brushing my lips against his own over and over, I could hear grunts of utter bliss emanating from my lover's throat. Of course, he wasn’t the only one making noises. However, my vocal groans were nothing compared to his.

 

“You must have missed me...” I muffled slightly into his mouth as my ungloved hands started exploring his torso and upper chest fur, making sure not to miss an inch as I did so.

 

“It’s been two weeks... **Of course** , I missed you. And I haven’t gotten much sleep at all, so it felt even longer.” He responded with a rather irritated tone as if it went without saying.

 

“Mmm... Is that sweet talking I’m hearing? Nah... **Must just be my wonderful imagination**.” I mumbled incoherently as my tongue smoothly slid over his lips a few times before gently being pulled back into my mouth.

 

He cupped my cheeks with his hands before breaking the kiss for a minute and pressing his forehead against my own. His sparkling sweet crimson eyes throwing me into some kind of hypnotic trance as every ache in my body that was activated while I was waking up started to vanish. However, it wasn’t long until his soft, elegant hands pushed against my chest, making me slowly drift back down to a lying position. The fluffy pillow slowly encasing my head as my lover was seen gracefully sitting on my lower torso with his head tilted downward.

 

“I want you to promise me something. If we are to make this official.” His ears went instantly flat as my heart skipped a beat as it had done many times prior. His ebony hand gently caressing his other hand as he quickly cleared his throat.

 

“And what would that be my dear?” I responded clearly yet gently before waiting patiently for a few seconds for his response; making me slightly concerned that I may have scared him again.

 

“ **Stop** with all this crazy nonsense. I’m tired of seeing you constantly throw yourself into danger. Eggman is one thing. But please do not deal with anything out of your field. I even talked to Ivo... He would never willingly try to kill you, so I know he is probably safe but other people... The thought of losing you after all of this makes me practically have a panic attack. So promise me. Promise me you will be more responsible with your own life.” His beautiful slick ears perked up a little as his slightly staggered deep breath made me feel all different forms of guilt.

 

“Listen, Shadow. What happened a couple weeks ago was **completely** out of my control. I had no idea I was even out in the snow or how I got there. But, if it makes you feel better, I promise to be more responsible and not blindly jump into things without consideration for my safety.” I gave him a toothy grin before flipping up my thumb to give him my traditional thumbs up. However, he did not respond with a chuckle or a smile but a look of confusion.

 

“You really have no idea? Are you sure? Who would put you there then? Did you make a recent enemy? I honestly thought you might have tried to... You know. End your own life or something. Well, now we have to find who did it? I wonder where we should start-.” He rambled aimlessly for a minute or so before gently cutting him off.

 

“Shh... _Baby_. This isn’t the time to worry about that stuff. Now come down here, it’s _freezing_ without you.” I whispered sensually, my hands gently caressing the sides of his chest all the way down to his hips.

 

I could visibly see my little ebony’s face darken as he tried to cover up the undeniable pleasure shooting through his body by biting down on his bottom lip. It only made things worse, of course. The sight of his beautiful firm body twitching slightly from the stimulating contact only making me more eager. Did I care that we were in a hospital and in public? Not in the slightest. I may have been twenty-five, but my hormones were that of a sixteen-year-old, causing my desire for sexual contact practically unavoidable. Said beautiful and euphoric chemicals washed through my veins, completely fogging my mind and removing logic in the process; not to mention that his chaos energy was so unbelievably appealing and delicious. Instantly filling my body with all different kinds of wonderful feelings that were slowly being pulled to the region my ebony was sitting on.

 

“Hm... You’re lucky you found me in a good mood, hedgehog or I would have taken that as you trying to shut me up.” He replied playfully, his body stiffening suddenly as my hands started sliding down his thighs.

 

“You’re just so cute that if I hear you talk any further, I’ll want to pounce and dominate you right here, right now.” My gentle and soothing voice somewhat comforting the other who was starting to show signs of worry, however, his hand gently brushed mine and push it farther into his soft, warm fur.

 

He knew that this was starting to go too far, heck even I did. However, not even he could really control the waterfall of delicious sensations rushing through his body. He probably didn’t get this kind of interaction often as I was the only one he really had much physical contact with. And until now, I didn’t feel comfortable enough making any moves because of his shyness.

I could hear the faintest of moans as my free hand started to subconsciously graze his sensitive area, causing this sweet little ebony on my lap to shiver in delight. He quickly pressed his other hand against his mouth to keep his soft moans from escaping his lips, his eyes suddenly glistening with the hidden desire for further stimulation.

 

“Ooo. Aren’t you so big and powerful? Well, what if I don’t want to come down there? _What are you going to do about it_?” He teased seductively, my hand pushing farther into his groin and my growling being the only thing to interrupt his playful mockery.

 

“ **UHHHH**.... What are you guys doing?” Tails voice seem to explode out of nowhere as both my lover and I’s head violently turned to look at our interrupters.

 

“ **OH, MY CHAOS! SHADOW GET OFF OF HIM THIS SECOND!!!!** Don’t worry, Sonikkuu. We're here to save you from this creep!” Amy shrieked violently before quickly pulling out her large piko piko piko hammer, preparing to strike Shadow at any moment.

 

# “We swear this isn’t what it looks like!!”


	5. Paranoia

A soft peck at the top of my messy, not-shampooed-for-days quills slightly startled me as I flipped my head up to meet the eyes of my attacker. Sparkling, ruby irises met with my own as I forced a slight smile onto my face. I was extra temperamental today and not really in the mood to deal with anymore nurse and doctor bullshit, but the ebony was always wonderful company. I had been placed in the hospital for three days now and forced to stay off my feet. This meaning the current wheelchair I was sitting in was causing my blood to practically boil with rage. They wouldn’t even allow me to WALK...! 

#  The Bastards... 

However, having Shadow over almost every day was completely unexpected in the most amazing way. He had never been this loving... This close... This almost _motherly_. As if I was a moody child throwing a fit... Which in reality I kind of was. Still, though, this dramatic change of behavior through my mind through a loop. Was this the **real** Shadow? Did I somehow awaken the person Maria had loved for so long? I had no idea, but in reality, I didn’t care. I may not show it on my face since I am in just the shittiest of moods but every little movement. Every kiss... Every gentle pat of the head... Makes my body instantly warm with pure, unfiltered bliss.  I looked around my crappy little hospital room, quickly outlining the bed, tv, bathroom and of course counter filled with probably fifty different get well gifts.

 

“I apologize for taking so long. The line for lunch downstairs was ridiculous. How are you feeling? I know you're probably not _too_ cheerful since you've been forced to stay sitting ever since you got here but the doctors say it will help your muscles heal faster.” A gentle stroke to my head and firm caress of my ear made me purr softly under my breath… I was still in a shitty mood, but Shadow always made me feel serene no matter what the situation.

 

“It’s fine Shadz. This place is always crazy busy anyway. It’s always so freakin' loud on this floor too, and the stupid machines keep me awake most of the time. I just hate it here.” I huffed a little before crossing my arms across my chest, showing complete distaste of the situation with both my tone and body language.

 

A small chuckle filled my ears as my head slowly turned to confront my ebony's stupid laughing face. I scowled disapprovingly before releasing a hmph in an attempt to make him realize that this wasn’t funny.

 

“Damnit. You’re just **too** cute when you're grumpy and threatening. How about I wheel you down to the little peace garden in the hospital courtyard? I’ve heard from some people that it’s very beautiful. Might be a nice spot to talk about our plan.” He winked at me slyly before once again stroking my ear, that was now boiling hot and red, with an amused yet gentle smirk. 

 

“Plan? And don’t try to sweet talk me, mister. You know for a fact that I am pretty pissy today and just cuz the very sight of you makes my heart flutter doesn’t mean I’ll take shit from you either.” I tried my best to hide my obvious embarrassment behind my harsh words. I would rather he not continue this teasing crap when I could easily snap at him because of my exhaustion and frustration. 

 

“Aww... Well. It’s not **_my_** fault that grumpy Sonic is such a rare sight. I can’t help but appreciate it. Anyway, I mean we need to talk about us.” I glanced into his eyes as he spoke, witnessing the genuine warmth and kindness emanating from them. I was so drowned in his gorgeous crimson irises that it took me a second to actually process what he had just said.

 

My eyes widened violently as I swear I could hear my own heart brutally screech to a halt. 

Does he mean he wants to talk about our relationship?! If so, does he want to actually like do this for real! Make us a real couple, and I can tell everyone and holy crap the cameras will never be off of us. Is Shadow really willing to do that for me? 

Suddenly... A very soft and subtle voice entered my ears. It was a voice I could not remember hearing and even though it was faint... Its words came out loud and clear.

**_(He... Doesn’t... Love... You...)_** It whispered firmly while Shadow’s content face changed to concerned as I most likely had the look of terror glistening in my eyes. 

 

“Sonic, what’s wrong? Did something startle you?” He bent down to meet me at my level before gently stroking the top of my quills. His closeness comforted me immediately, making me push aside the weird voice I had heard a second prior. 

 

“Oh no. It's fine... I just heard something _odd_. I guess being trapped in this prison is starting to make me a tad jumpy.” I brushed it off with my typical quirky and bubbly tone even though deep down inside I did feel slightly spooked. I don’t want Shadow to think I’m crazy.

 

Shadow looked at me carefully… His eyes once again throwing me into a trance. How I wish I could do everything with him… Everything **to** him. This motherly Shadow made it almost impossible for me to control my perverted thoughts. Romantic and sexual. I think my predicament was noticed by my ebony lover because his cheeks flushed slightly as he started to stare at me without any intention of blinking. Maybe he was going through his many thoughts, as well. Before I knew it, he had come back to reality and quickly shook his head before speaking again. 

 

“If that’s the case then let’s go down to the garden. Are you warm enough? You seem to have goosebumps and everything.” He stammered a little, quickly walking over to the cabinets with the many blankets and obsessively sorting through the softest ones. 

_  
** (He doesn’t need you.) ** _

 

“No no... I’m fine, **really**. You don’t need to be so maternal. I can take care of myself, you know. What happened doesn’t mean I’m a baby.” The voice was really starting to irritate me, causing my tone to come off as sassy, which in reality was not my intention, but Shadow quickly glanced at me annoyedly in return. He slowly put the blanket back into its place before clearing his throat.

I suppose my attitude was making him more and more irritated as time went on. He even started to look at me skeptically, trying to interpret why I was getting so jumpy and paranoid. 

 

“Someone’s still snappy, I see. Look, I’ll tell you why I’m acting this way when we get down there.” He walked back over to me calmly before gently kissing the top of my head worryingly.

 

I’m sure it showed in my face or not… But, I was scared. Was I losing my mind? This voice was not letting up. Have I finally gone crazy? Please, just let this be an effect of the injury. I don’t want to be mentally sick so soon after Shadow, and I decided we want to be together. 

** _(He’s just trying to get you attached...)  
_ **

“Ugh. SHUT UP, DAMNIT.” I forcefully grabbed my ears before squeezing them tightly... Whoever this was, was very persistent.

 

“Oh... Dear.” Shadow scratched the back of his head before sighing slightly in concern, the air of the hospital room quickly becoming hostile and still.

 

“It’s not what it looks like! **I’m not crazy**! I just... I don’t know.” I looked up at him before shaking my hands from side to side, attempting to convince him that I was not losing my mind. It apparently didn't work because Shadow returned my attempt with a very concerned scowl.

 

“The doctors said that PTSD is very common with this kind of event. Try to relax, okay? I’m here, and everything is alright. The voice is probably just a reaction to your brain trying to heal.” He once again squatted to my level before softly pressing his hand against my cheek and pushing himself closer until our foreheads bumped into one another.

My heart skipped a few beats as I quickly wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders before pulling him just a little closer until our lips met into one of those amazing magical kisses I was now more than used to. He gently pet my cheek as he tilted my head slightly to allow the kiss to deepen. My mind could not have been more serene while our lips softly took turns caressing the other. Everything was just perfect...   
 ** _  
(He’s using you... Can’t you see it, you idiotic child.)_**

I quickly yanked away from the kiss while pushing his shoulders from mine. I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes and a frown bestowed upon his glistening lips. A very soft but high pitched whine could be heard, causing my heart to practically shatter. 

 

“ **Did I do something wrong**?” His ears went completely flat, and the look of childlike disappointment was enough to make me want to cry.

 

This form of Shadow had only been shown to me a few times. He always had an odd look of innocence in his eyes when doing so... As if he was letting a very vulnerable side of him be shown. This was maybe why he usually became incredibly timid when he got rejected or called out on his mistakes. He must honestly care very deeply about what other people think.

 

“No, no. Absolutely not. I just believe we should probably not let things get too heated. We are in a public place.” I shifted in my wheelchair slightly, not wanting to look up into Shadow’s puppy eyes. He was in a very odd mood today. He was extremely vulnerable, motherly and reassuring. Maybe whatever is going on is affecting him too… Maybe he knows something is up.

 

“It never seemed to have bothered you before...?” The ebony quickly responded as he continued to show real and true sadness because of the rejected kiss. His ears slouched down even further, and his lips were almost quivering. 

**_(He only wants you to make him feel good about himself....)_ **

 

“I was hyped up on drugs! My mind was clouded and what not. I’m an adult, and thus I should act like one.” I immediately bit my lip right after I spoke those words... I knew that was not the right thing to say but I was trying desperately to not let Shadow in on how much the voice was affecting me.

 

“There you go trying to act all mature... That caused a lot of problems before, faker. Just be yourself.” His gentle words and sympathetic tone were vibrant and pure… It made me feel unbelievably guilty. He was being completely honest and open with me, and I was hiding from him... Scared I'll make him worried or worse, turn him off completely. 

**_  
(Now, he’s mocking you and calling you names. Are you going to take that?) _ **

 

“Oh, so now you use that name! Did I piss you off too much?” At this point, I felt trapped and angry… My traditional speak before I think attitude did not make things easier either… I was annoyed at how calm and collected the ebony was when I was practically having a mental freak out. But lighting the fire that led to our arguments was not the way I wanted to go.

 

“What the **hell** has gotten into you? I’m trying to open up and show you affection, and you’re treating me like shit.” Shadow’s typical scowl came right back to haunt me… A little tsk followed it with the look of almost disgust. 

 

It made me furious… Was that all an act? Was he just trying to make me feel better? I don’t need to be taken care of or treated differently just because I’m special to him. I wanted the pure, unfiltered Shadow and nothing more.  
 ** _  
(He thinks he’s so much better than you.)_**

 

“Well, you're free to go see someone else, then!” I exclaimed loudly, my eyes shutting with regret and betrayal. I quickly covered my ears again, attempting to shut out the voice that kept haunting me.

 

“What is that voice telling you, Sonic?” My "lover" asked sternly before firmly squeezing my shoulders.

_  
** (He’s demanding... Not to mention that you don’t even deserve him.) ** _

 

“It’s not telling me anything! I’m just in a pissy mood.” I spat at him, shoving him so far away from my body that he fell onto my hospital bed. 

 

“Sonic. **Tell me right now** , or I am leaving this room for the week.” His voice was shaky, almost fearful and I could tell he did not want to empathize with me any longer and instead shut himself away.

 

He got up from the bed and walked over to the door. Giving me a very assured “If you don’t tell me I will leave” look.

 

“Just drop it okay. _I’m fine_ , really. Sorry for getting so uptight.” As soon as those words were finished, he turned towards the door, opened it and left, before slamming it forcefully behind him.

 

I had never felt so humiliated and miserable in my entire life... 

#   And I was almost certain it couldn't get any worse...


End file.
